Since I started dating my young boyfriend, I have noticed that some people are being sceptical about our interracial relationship. I have come across enough unpleasant comments, such as there are a lot of benefits he can get from me, no matter physical, financial or even for the immigration purpose.
There are a few things which I need to make clear:
- Our relationship is emotional based. We got to know each other during the corona crisis. We found each other's personality attractive while we were getting along and then became attached to each other. We supported each other emotionally during the difficult times. Everything was in process. We were not together for time pass.
- Some of you may think Indians and Pakistanis are after certain benefits. Well as human beings, we all consider the benefits for ourselves. This is human nature, thus we are not supposed to stand on the moral high ground and apply moral coercion on others. At the time of coercing others, you may not be doing that great yourselves either. We'd better deal with people and things in an objective and humanised way instead of double standards.
- All kinds of human relations are about give and take, which is a way of building connections. However certain amount of emotional intelligence is required to make it balanced. For more details check out my posts about the "Benjamin Franklin Effect".
- I'm into Hinduism, and my boyfriend is Muslim. He has no issues with my "Jai Hind", I even started talking in the Islamic way. He respects the way I am and I adapt his religious culture in return. We both are accepted as individuals by each other. The best thing is that we don't judge each other!
- There are a number of reasons that my young boyfriend loves me as a person: Other than my genuine love and passion for South Asian culture, I treat him with equality and respect. The most important thing is that we are able to maintain effective communication and cooperation. He's the person who is aware of my value.
- Many of my boyfriend's close friends know about my existence. I never feel being judged. They are fully aware that I'm having such a young boyfriend at this age, however none of them ever criticised our age gap, instead they are actually happy for us. They even want to meet me one day.
Overall, I just want to express my point of view to you sceptical people: I'm an adult who understands human nature and I'm responsible for myself. I have the ability to maintain a healthy relationship with fairness and balance. If I'm not being the one who supports my young boyfriend, who else can be? He knows I'm the right person who is sincere to him, thus it's the right things to do to seek help from me, as we are the only ones for each other.
If you think I'm being taken advantage of, well, I'm not that kind of person who trusts people blindly. And I always make things clear at the start to avoid further embarrassment. I use my brain to investigate everything on my own, and find out whatever is real or fake. I strongly believe that flaws can always be shown up if a person is not genuine.
And women, do not expect men to treat you like princesses and queens, it's just majority of women's day dream. It can never be too easy to be a princess or a queen, as it requires more effort than usual people can invest. If you create your own value and stand on your own feet, you will gain respect.
As a person with quite an attitude, the person I choose must be something unlike an ordinary person. Also young people still have plenty of time to develop themselves. They could grow and shine brightly when the time and opportunity comes!
