Psychological projection, which is a theory developed by Sigmund Freud, is a defence mechanism in which the human ego defends itself against unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others. It is a mental process people subconsciously employ in order to cope with difficult feelings or emotions.
Psychological projection involves projecting undesirable feelings or emotions onto someone else, rather than admitting to or dealing with the unwanted feelings. It is the projection of one's own feelings, thoughts or motives onto someone else, just like the way a projector works, as we all know. "The way I am is the way you and other people are." We all commit projections!
Examples of myself being projected on:
- When I placed an order of my pizza, I especially mentioned no cheese (very important)!!! Then still received a call from them asking me "Are you sure you don't want any cheese?" And explaining that pizzas won't be good without cheese. Majority of people consider pizzas without cheese are unusual, however there are certain amount of people who are allergic or intolerant. They were thinking pizzas without cheese are horrible, if they and most of people can have cheese, I can have it too. They actually projected the way they think is good onto me.
- One of my fellow witch ladies, who loves coffee and sweets, constantly offers me some. Everytime it makes me feel awkward because I hate those things. However she sees them as the best things ever. She surely expects others to like coffee and sweets, as she likes them herself. This thought of hers was being projected onto me.
As an empath, I'm completely able to understand people in the above examples by considering their points of views: All restaurants make their food the most tasty for their customers, and the lady is being generous by sharing her favourite things with me. However things turn out to be opposite effect to me from a different angle.
Here are some of my ways of avoiding projection according to my experience:
Develop and strengthen empathy, stand on other people's points of views to feel what they want instead of what we want or what we think is good for them. It requires a bit of work to study people, however it's worth to learn such skills so that we can deal with people more smoothly.
