In my earlier post about Benjamin Franklin effect, I mentioned the details of the "do me a favour" technique, which means that if you want a person to like you, ask him for a favour which can give him the feeling of being important. Now let's go deeper into this in a reverse manner.
One of my friends ended up being betrayed by his best friend and still doesn't understand the reason, as he helped this friend a lot. I asked him one question: "Did you ever ask him for any little favour during that period of time?" The answer was not at all, as he never expected anything from his friend. Let me explain the reason behind.
We all feel superior when we help people, which satisfies our desire for the feeling of importance, and leads that we always like people we help more than the ones who help us. Thus people we help could feel psychologically unbalanced. When we help people, remember to give them chances to return our favours in order to maintain their psychological balance, by asking them small favours which are very easy for them to do. This also an effective way to build connections with people even if without us helping them. In this way, people we "trouble" feel that they are the ones who are related to us, which will lead further connections to go deeper.
Whenever we need help, seek help from the people who have helps us instead of those whom we have helped, because people who have helped us are more likely to give their helping hands again, and people we have helped could lose their psychological balance so that friends could become enemies.
As Benjamin Franklin said: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged."
