The Concept of Defense Mechanism

In psychoanalytic theory, a defense mechanism is an unconscious psychological mechanism that reduces anxiety arising from unacceptable or potentially harmful stimuli. They are the brain's ways of keeping us safe from fully aware of unpleasant thoughts and feelings. They may result in healthy or unhealthy consequences depending on the circumstances and frequency with which the mechanism is used. Sometimes, we can choose to use certain defense mechanisms.

I'll keep on posting about the most common defense mechanisms with living examples along.

Are you a highly sensitive person?

As a highly sensitive person myself, to some extent, I struggle to fit in this world and be accepted as others seem to expect. People like me may attempt to change themselves to meet other people's expectations of being "lively", which is not healthy. Instead, we need to appreciate ourselves the way we are. It is okay to live a life other people don't understand.

Our delicate souls bring limitations, but also possibilities. The book Highly Sensitive People in an Insensitive World: How to Create a Happy Life by Ilse Sand helps us to discover our self-awareness and teaches us how to put ourselves in more comfortable situations to survive in an insensitive world. 

There is a misconception that the highly sensitive trait has been mixed up with introversion. However studies by the American psychologist and researcher Elaine Aron show that 70% percent of highly sensitive people are introverts and 30% are extroverts. 

This trait has also been mistaken as anxious, inhibited, shy, etc. Well these words only describe how it appears to others when highly sensitive people experience problems and challenges under pressure. We are also capable of deep happiness when we are eased in peaceful surroundings. 

Over years I have learned to appreciate my advantages and overcome my disadvantages as a highly sensitive person: 

- I can sense what usual people can't easily do, notice minor changes of people and things. 

- I'm able to develop empathy without putting myself into irrelevant or excessive guilt. 

- I allow myself to be a perfectionist within my possible ability. 

- I'm being kind with boundaries and sharpness instead of being a people pleaser, as such idealisation to make everyone happy with me is unrealistic. 

- I think carefully while planning things and make myself ready to accept the worst result it may lead to. However I don't waste my energy in worrying about things out of my control. 

- I prefer high-quality interactions. On the other hand, I know when to give myself a break from too much interaction with people. Most of the time I'd rather spend time alone to learn and think. 

- I never stop developing new hobbies. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely. 

- Maintaining mental health is important for me. 

Being highly sensitive is not any psychological disorder, it's just a trait of human characteristics. Read through this book so that you get a betting understanding of this term. At the end of the book, it comes with a Highly Sensitive People Test of Ilse Sand's own version. And here comes the link of Dr. Elaine Aron's version. A test can be used as a guideline regarding your own sensitivity. However Only some of the aspects are included and the results may vary according to your mood. 

https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

Now I would say I have become a successful highly sensitive person with a rich inner life.

Pianist Performs for Handicapped Elephants to Help Them Heal

Paul Barton, a British pianist who plays the piano for rescued elephants in Thailand. He truly believes that it is possible to interact with them in such a heart-warming way.

https://youtu.be/om5mnQgkymQ

Pictured Paul Barton playing Silent Night for a blind elephant.

https://youtu.be/Ry3EepGT9PQ

I have a dream which is similar. My dream is to play the piano for cats at a cat cafe. 👧🎹🐱🐈🐾

The Piano Playing Cat and CATcerto

The piece of CATcerto theme was composed by Lithuanian conductor and composer Mindaugas Piečaitis featuring a solo performance by Nora, a piano playing cat. This first musical composition by Piečaitis has made himself gain international attention.

Official video: 

https://youtu.be/zeoT66v4EHg

Pictured Mindaugas Piečaitis with Nora

Cat Orchestra

Saw this from the page of Kyiv Music Labs. Looks so realistic. I wish this can be true.

How My Journey of Piano Technology Started

As a multi-instrumentalist, I am a musician with over 20 years’ experience since childhood. I have come across various musical instruments. I would say the piano is my favourite one that I enjoy playing the most. It is one of the best instruments for solo performance, and I have always been fascinated by its timbre and range. I like it when the hammers hit the strings, as if these cute little parts are dancing. The piano is a musical instrument which brings me forever joy, however it requires professional care.

I book piano tuning services every 6 months to a year to keep my piano well-tuned. An idea came across my mind: Why can't I tune my own piano and make a living on providing this service to my clients? As an introvert, I would like to be my own boss, have flexible working hours and concentrate on doing my jobs without any distraction. Also I would like to rework on my antique piano. As an artist, I have the passion to get into the art of piano technology. Then I decided to start my journey of piano tuning by learning from masters in this industry, so that I can work with my favourite musical instrument and achieve professional goals.

A good piano technician makes full effort to maintain brilliant services to clients, cares about clients' pianos and their needs more than just pay cheques. My goals are to present myself in a professional image to my clients, provide outstanding services, and deal with clients with emotional intelligence skills. Learning has no limits. I'm always up for new challenges and keen to learn new things in this industry. I will keep on improving my skills and professionalism at all times. I'm aiming to become a super star in the art of piano technology!

I would like to say thanks to those who have guided me to the right path of the piano technology industry. With the help of these senior professionals, I was able to get my life on track by having a good start of my professional journey. Thanks for your guidance and encouragement whenever I came across unforseen difficulties, which is lifetime and unforgettable.

Peacock Quill Pen

Calligraphy - Celtic Half Uncial

Check out the video below to find the origin:

https://youtu.be/55gxqsU20UM

Calligraphy - Celtic Half Uncial

Face Paint - Edelweiss

Face paint of the edelweiss flower, which grows on the highest mountains in alpine countries like Germany, Austria and Switzerland. Edelweiss is a compound German word, with "edel" which means noble, gem or something precious as such, and "weiss" which means white. It's a flower which never dies and symbolises eternal love.

Calligraphy - Italic Fonts

Expressing the pride of my maternal German speaking heritage in italic fonts: "I found the greatest happiness, the most beautiful hours in my home." "Bavaria is the better Germany, and Austria is the better Bavaria." This is a saying in Austria, a country which shares similar cultures and dialects with south parts Germany from the same root.

Calligraphy - Gothic Fonts

A great piece of my work for your precious childhood friends: "Thanks for the good friends and for never forgetting me. 

Thank you for the time to play, for the joy you give. 

And that you think of me especially on dark days.

Thank you for never leaving us and for loving us all despondent. 

Thank you for all the wonderful gifts, thank you for everything you give.

Thank God for this morning, thank you for being with me."

Calligraphy - Gothic Fonts

An old piece of my calligraphy work with gothic fonts in German language, which literally means "Everything loving, everything good, a lot of happiness/luck." Wish everyone all the best and good luck in their life.

The Book of Answers - The Way Barnum Effect Works

Found a book amazing for psychic use at home - The Book of Answers. It creates a tarot reading effect in the mind. Whatever questions you have, this book has the answers. 

How to use The Book of Answers: 

1. Hold the CLOSED book in your hand, on your lap, or on a table. 

2. Take 10 or 15 seconds to CONCENTRATE on your question. Questions should be phrased CLOSED-END. Eg. "Is the job I'm applying for the right one?" Or "Should I travel this weekend?" 

3. While visualising or speaking your question (one question at a time), place ONE HAND palm down on the book's front cover and STROKE THE EDGE of the pages, back to front. 

4. When you SENSE the time is right, OPEN the book and there will be your answer. 

5. REPEAT the process for as many questions as you have. 

Sounds mysterious, doesn't it? Actually not as much, it really works by making people believe all because of a psychological technique - Barnum Effect. Let me demystify it for you one day with the details of this concept. People tend to believe what they want to believe!

Mechanical Date Navigator

Here is the date navigator I just built up, which is is an interesting original mechanical calendar with a beautiful steampunk planetary mechanism inside.It also has a sweet faint scent of Ukrainian birch wood. What day of the week it is going to be can be found out by just setting the year and month you need. It helps to identify the day of the week for any date from 2017 to 2044, and gives your daily companion to keep track of your adventure and activities within this period of time. Amazing for psychic use! 

The following simple steps will demonstrate how to find out the day of the week using the date navigator. To illustrate the process, let's select the date of today, 28 February, 2021 as our example. 

1. Set the chosen year against the name of the month in the upper part of the model by turning the large inside gear with numbers 17-44. As you will see, "2" and "0", the first two figures of the year, have been set up beforehand and you will only need to select the last two, which in this case is 28. Set "28" against "Feb". See image. 

2. In the lower part on the navigator you will see the calendar for the month you've set up in its upper part. For our example, this would be February 2021. Now, you can see that 28 Feb, 2021 is a Sunday, 1 March - is Monday, etc. 

Brackets indicate leap years . For a leap year (2020, 2024, 2028, 2032, 2036, 2040, 2044) choose January and February marked with brackets.

More Writing Instruments in My Collection

Writing gift sets ✍🎁

Maintaining a Healthy Relationship

Since I started dating my young boyfriend, I have noticed that some people are being sceptical about our interracial relationship. I have come across enough unpleasant comments, such as there are a lot of benefits he can get from me, no matter physical, financial or even for the immigration purpose. 

There are a few things which I need to make clear: 

- Our relationship is emotional based. We got to know each other during the corona crisis. We found each other's personality attractive while we were getting along and then became attached to each other. We supported each other emotionally during the difficult times. Everything was in process. We were not together for time pass. 

- Some of you may think Indians and Pakistanis are after certain benefits. Well as human beings, we all consider the benefits for ourselves. This is human nature, thus we are not supposed to stand on the moral high ground and apply moral coercion on others. At the time of coercing others, you may not be doing that great yourselves either. We'd better deal with people and things in an objective and humanised way instead of double standards. 

- All kinds of human relations are about give and take, which is a way of building connections. However certain amount of emotional intelligence is required to make it balanced. For more details check out my posts about the "Benjamin Franklin Effect". 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1137082943322906&id=100010636330587

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1138000073231193&id=100010636330587

- I'm into Hinduism, and my boyfriend is Muslim. He has no issues with my "Jai Hind", I even started talking in the Islamic way. He respects the way I am and I adapt his religious culture in return. We both are accepted as individuals by each other. The best thing is that we don't judge each other!

- There are a number of reasons that my young boyfriend loves me as a person: Other than my genuine love and passion for South Asian culture, I treat him with equality and respect. The most important thing is that we are able to maintain effective communication and cooperation. He's the person who is aware of my value. 

- Many of my boyfriend's close friends know about my existence. I never feel being judged. They are fully aware that I'm having such a young boyfriend at this age, however none of them ever criticised our age gap, instead they are actually happy for us. They even want to meet me one day. 

Overall, I just want to express my point of view to you sceptical people: I'm an adult who understands human nature and I'm responsible for myself. I have the ability to maintain a healthy relationship with fairness and balance. If I'm not being the one who supports my young boyfriend, who else can be? He knows I'm the right person who is sincere to him, thus it's the right things to do to seek help from me, as we are the only ones for each other. 

If you think I'm being taken advantage of, well, I'm not that kind of person who trusts people blindly. And I always make things clear at the start to avoid further embarrassment. I use my brain to investigate everything on my own, and find out whatever is real or fake. I strongly believe that flaws can always be shown up if a person is not genuine. 

And women, do not expect men to treat you like princesses and queens, it's just majority of women's day dream. It can never be too easy to be a princess or a queen, as it requires more effort than usual people can invest. If you create your own value and stand on your own feet, you will gain respect. 

As a person with quite an attitude, the person I choose must be something unlike an ordinary person. Also young people still have plenty of time to develop themselves. They could grow and shine brightly when the time and opportunity comes!

The Artisan Spirit and Professionalism

This is a photo of the working apron of my violin maker Paul Davies, the most trustworthy luthier in Melbourne. He is an absolutely amazing person! 

However, there is an issue that the title "Luthier" is frequently used by people who only do a little more than basic work which can be done by ourselves. 

My understanding of the word "luthier" is "master of master", which matches Paul's status perfectly. He is the only luthier I approve personally, no matter his professional skills or his way of dealing with people. In another word, I can say he is such a maestro! 

This photo reminded me the time that I popped in a store to get the price quote of my violin for sale. Pathetically, they were unable to demonstrate playing the instrument and they only offered $400 to purchase my $2,000 instrument, which is 5 times less and ridiculous! Those extremely business minded people may increase the price 10 times and sell it for $4,000 afterwards! I don't even feel a bit of passion and love for musical instruments from them, they are doing it simply just for money. As a violin player myself, even I'm not confident enough to judge an instrument's value, how dare they want an Arts Music violin at such a low price! 

I also came across people who claim to be dealers and distributors of Lamy pens. I took a look on their catalogue, they sell all kinds of gift boxes, however only 2 models of pens all over. To be frank and with unpleasant words, I would say that I will feel myself too embarrassed to run this business if I only sell 2 models of pens, in this case I'd better shut it down. As a calligrapher, I have experience with certain amount of fountain pen models. Especially with the Lamy brand, I even know the minor details of each model like which nibs and refills are suitable for each pen. Even the model number of each accessory. 

This messy apron is just like my dirty ballet shoes, they can never be clean due to their usage. Being too clean is the sign of not being used enough, which means not enough work. 

I feel those business minded behaviors with a lack of appreciation are insults for the professionalism of fine items, which shouldn't be encouraged. Keep up the good work and let our eyes remain sharp. People who truly have talents will always shine!

Dealing with Hatred

A young piano master I know has been going through difficult times for months due to a number of people's hatred behaviours. Fortunarely, there are friends supporting him and standing by his side. 

I'm sorry to hear how he is feeling right now. Although I haven't met him in person yet, as a psychic witch, I do feel that he is a talented person with extremely high IQ. Also I have been seeing that he always invests full energy in what he does, for the sake of his love and passion for pianos. A huge number of pianos have been brought back to life through his magic hands. 

I'm able to understand his scenario that he has been abused and used, taken advantage of and being hated on, as I have experienced the same. Those who did these to him are exactly like the ones who accepted my gifts but pretended not to know me. Like people get certain benefits from us but don't respect us. This happened to me not long ago and the unfairness made me upset. Here is a bit of my thought and attitude afterwards: 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1371492806548584&id=100010636330587

Usually the root cause is people's jealousy. They can't see us better than them. Well I understand this feeling too, check out this link to know more: 

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1129346664096534&id=100010636330587

Other than this, any factor can be the reason that we are targeted, isolated and abused, no matter too rich or too poor, too beautiful or too ugly, too intelligent or too dumb etc. We can't be liked by everyone. Some like and some hate. At least we are approved by ourselves and our loved ones. No matter what happens, as long as we insist our bottom lines, people don't ever dare to disrespect us! We raise our voices against unfairness! 

Sending a lot of positive energy and blessings to our rescuer of pianos. Looking forward to seeing more pianos being rescued.

Dislike But Respect

As a controversial individual, I have learned to develop the courage of being disliked. If you don't like me, I may not like you either. I have a clear understanding of human nature that I may not be that important for people, so that I won't get hurt this way by not considering myself important and thinking "I'm just a minor" for others. 

Sometimes I may be kind to you by being reliable and investing full energy to get things done, which is usually my way of dealing with things, just for the sake of my loved ones and those who have done me big favours. Otherwise I may never be nice to you. "Just trying to be nice" is not my style of being human. Whatever I do never includes any unreal politeness. 

Anyone who decides to work with me in doing something, you can feel free to choose not to, instead of leaving me embarrassment after, otherwise it's not fair for me. In this case I would work on my own. I'm still able to make it without you as I'm the main source of the contribution. I'm in charge of fighting for my fairness! 

If you think I'm a wicked woman involved in black magic and hate me, you can choose not to accept my so-called kindness, instead of pretending not to know me. If you treat me like a virus and avoid me after accepting everything happily, it is a significant insult for me with a lack of respect. 

You'd better simply tell me that you don't need it, if I ever know, I will never force it on you with my one-sided wishful thinking. If you don't want anything to do with me, I can feel it with my psychic power anyways. No matter if you like or dislike me, at least have some basic manners and respect. Develop some empathy and emotional intelligence, learn to love people first, then people will love you in return.

My Collection of Writing Instruments

As a calligrapher and a fan of fountain pens, I love treating myself with such high end writing instruments and matching accessories! 

Top row (left to right): 

Lamy Studio Piano Black Limited Edition 

- The one I'm personally fond of the most! With 14K gold nib, surface of glossy piano-like finish instead of the usual matte effect of this model. Nibs can be changed to any size of the suitable kind. Either a cartridge or a converter can be inserted for ink filling purpose. Can be turned to a unique personal accessory by being placed in a leather pouch, which will look gorgeous while carrying it along in person.

Francesco Rubinato Calligraphy Gift Box 

- Contents placed in a well-made wooden box, also including a glass ink bottle with its metal lid of engraved edge! To be honest, I'm more into the packaging and the belongings than the pen itself. 

Botton row (left to right): 

Francesco Rubinato Calligraphy Set with Desk Charm 

- Metal quill pen. I actually bought the whole set just for this charming desk accessory: cat standing on pile of books! 

Francesco Rubinato Music Writing Collection 

- The most suitable set for me to represent myself as a musical and artistic person. With a 5-line nib for music manuscript, and amazing desk accessories for violinists.

Montblanc Max von Oppenheim Limited Edition 

- Issued in honour of the German archaeologist, researcher and collector Max von Oppenheim. Only 4810 pens worldwide! The most luxurious of all! 

Itoya Romeo (Japan) Genuine Leather Pen Wrap 

- 6 pen slots for tidy storage. 

P.S. All the Francesco Rubinato boxes are either limited or rare to find! The Itoya Romeo items are mostly available in Japan only.

My Understanding of Psychology and Healing

Psychology is an amazing subject. It's not only able to help me heal myself, but also make me do a better job at helping others heal. Psychological knowledge has the effect of an energy converter, which can help me adjust my emotions, in order to turn negativity into positivity. 

After getting into deeper and deeper studies in psychology and healing, I have always been gaining more understanding of human nature and how to apply this concept in real life. This makes me become more and more objective in analysing people and things, instead of the usual subjectivity and judgementality. 

I even started consultations with a psychologist to maintain my own mental health and experience the way it works. I'm currently keeping on going with my weekly session online, which I'm always excited about. Looking forward to working with her every time!

Bulgarian Tradition of Martenitsa

Martenitsa - a Bulgarian tradition which is related to the ancient pagan history of the Balkan Peninsula and to all agricultural cults of nature.

A Martenitsa is a small piece of adornment, made of white and red yarn and usually in the form of two dolls, a male and a female: Pizho the white and Penda the red. The red and white woven threads symbolise the wish for good health, which are the heralds of the coming of spring and of new life. While white as a color symbolises purity, red is a symbol of life and passion.

Martenitsi can be tied to a blossoming tree as a symbol of approaching spring. One or more of them are usually worn pinned to clothing, or around the wrist or neck, from Baba Marta Day (literally means Grandma March Day, on 1 March), until the wearer sees a stork or swallow returning from migration, or a blossoming tree (or until late March), and then removes the Martenitsa.

The name "Baba Marta" evokes a grumpy old lady whose mood swings very rapidly. The common belief is that by wearing the red and white colors of the Martenitsa, people ask Baba Marta for mercy. They hope that it will make winter pass faster and bring spring. The first returning stork or swallow is taken as a harbinger of spring and as evidence that Baba Marta is in a good mood and is about to retire.

The Martenitsa is also a stylised symbol of mother nature, the white symbolising the purity of the melting white snow and the red setting of the sun, which becomes more and more intense as spring progresses, as two natural resources of the source of life. They are also associated with the male and female beginnings, and in their balance, with the need for balance in life.

Tradition dictates that Martenitsi are always given as gifts, not bought for oneself. They are given to loved ones, friends, and those people to whom one feels close. Modern Martenitsi take a wider variety of forms and often incorporate colored beads and other elaboration. Wearing one or more Martenitsi is a very popular Bulgarian tradition. The time during which they are worn is meant to be a joyful holiday commemorating health and long life.

More of Belarusian Sacred Symbols

Агонь Ahoń: Fire 

Багацце Bahaccie: Wealth 

Вясна Viasna: Spring 

Гара Gara: Mountain 

Душа Duša: Soul 

Зараджэнне Zaradžennie: Birth 

Дзявоцкасць Dziavockasć: Maidenhood/Virginity 

Еднасць Jednasć: Unity 

Развіццё Razviccio: Development 

Жыццё Žyccio: Life 

Зямля Ziamlia: Earth 

Іншасвет Inšasviet: Otherworld

Ураджай Uradžaj: Harvest 

Краса Krasa: Beauty 

Ланцуг Lancuh: Chain 

Магія Mahija: Magic 

Неба Nieba: The Sky 

Ордэн Orden: Order 

Продкі Prodki: Ancestors 

Рух Ruch: Movement 

Святло Sviatlo: Light

Пocт Poct: Post

Неўміручасць Nieŭmiručasć: Immortality

Файна Fajna: Fine

Хрушч Chrušč: Khrushchev

Цнота Cnota: Virtue

Чысціня Čyscinia: Cleanliness/Purity

Шлях Šliach: The way/Path

Шчасце Ščascie: Happiness

Мужчына Mužčyna: The man

Прыгажосць Pryhažosć: Beauty

Энергія Enierhija: Energy

Юнак Junak: The young man

Ясна Jasna: Clear

Наша Мова Naša mova: Our Language

Ukrainian Old Hutsul Symbol - Svarga

Svarga: Symbol of the solar cult, home hearth, family happiness.

Сварга: Символ сонячного культу, домашнього вогнища, родинного щастя.

Explanation of Eye Accessing Cues

The eye accessing cues are movement patterns that give a clear indication of the part of the brain being utilised and the representational system that is currently being accessed. Although a system specific question such as "How did it feel...?" will initiate the accessing of that system (in this case kinaesthetic) regardless of the person's dominant system, a nonspecific question will allow someone to go into their dominant system. For example, a question such as "What was it like?" will leave it wide open for a visual to access visually, a kinaesthetic to access feelings, or an audio to access internal sounds. Occasionally you will see someone "cascading" by moving their eyes through all systems as they search for information, which is known as a transderivational search.

Pictured eye accessing chart for right handed person. Left handed people are usually reversed on the vertical axis.

While the words will give the conscious system, the eye-accessing will give the unconscious system. The missing system of the three will be the out-of-conscious unconscious system. Any changework done in this system will tend to be lost to conscious awareness.

VR = Visual Recall

Eyes move up and to his left as he accesses eidetic (remembered) visual images.

VC = Visual Construct

Eyes move up and to his right as he constructs new visual images.

AR = Audio Recall

Eyes move directly to his left (towards the ear) as he internally hears previously heard sounds.

AC = Audio Construct

Eyes move directly to his right (towards the ear) as he creates new internal sounds.

A = Audio / AD = Audio Digital (talking to yourself in your own head)

Eyes move down and to his left as he hears internal conversations. 

K = Kinaesthetic (feelings)

Eyes move down and to his right as feelings are accessed.

Note: Gustatory (taste) and olfactory (smell) are subgroups in the kinaesthetic system. When someone is processing these senses, watch for the down and to the right kinaesthetic accessing cue.

Ukrainian Embroidered Ornament With Coded Name

Ukrainian embroidered ornament with coded name - Sofia

Ukrainian embroidery includes various symbols and ornaments which were created tens of centuries ago, when the ancestors of the Ukrainians had "magical" connection with the nature: plants, animals, celestial lights. With the symbols of the Sun, Earth, Universe, Genus, they drew their fate, reproducing them on canvas, writing mysterious ancient signs as spells, amulets, and codes of a kind. That is why they decorated their clothes, accessories, bedding, towels and more with simple ornaments. It is now possible to encrypt words, city names, and your own name into a Ukrainian ornament that resembles a code. Each letter is an embroidered symbol, each symbol is a powerful charm.

Belarusian Sacred Symbols

Belarusian national ornaments of sacred symbols:

Агонь Ahoń: Fire

Багацце Bahaccie: Wealth

Вясна Viasna: Spring

Душа Duša: Soul

Жыццё Žyccio: Life

Зямля Ziamlia: Land

Краса Krasa: Beauty

Маладосць Maladosć: Youth

Насенне Nasiennie: Seeds

Продкі Prodki: Ancestors

Росквіт Roskvit: Prosperity

Сонца Sonca: The Sun

Сям'я Siamja: Family

Ураджай Uradžaj: Harvest

Чысциня Čyscinia: Cleanliness

Энергія Enierhija: Energy

NLP Reprensentational Systems

These are the systems of our five senses we all use to take in information and understand the world around us: visual, auditory, and kinaesthetic (physical touch and emotional feelings), including its subcategories gustatory (taste) and olfactory (smell). By necessity they take in and create an internal map that more or less approximate the "real" world. 

Although we are capable of using all of these systems, one of the VAK (visual, auditory and kinaesthetic) will tend to dominate and be the primary representational system we communicate in, which will be the preferred or default representational system that we go to automatically and speak in. This will be the system or modality that is preferred to take in most of the information about the world. Although one system will be the primary modality, it is important to keep in mind that all systems are used to some degree.

The concept of VAK deals with the ways we like to process information and how we make sense of the world. When you communicate with someone else, you will be using the VAK. Recognition of the primary representational system that someone is using enables you to build rapport, the sense of sameness that occurs when you enter another person's model of the world. Understanding VAK can give you a real communication advantage.

Rapport in NLP and Hypnosis

Rapport is the sense of "being in touch" with another person. It creates a sense of connectedness. It is equally important in NLP and in hypnosis, which refers to two totally different concepts in each. Thus there are two kinds of rapport to understand.

NLP-style rapport:

Enter the other person's model of the world, to seem to be like the other person, to gain their confidence and trust in order to build rapport. As people like people who are like themselves, they tend to be attracted to those who are most like themselves. When you are in rapport with another person, you've entered their model of the world.

Eg. Pace the other person's physiology by mirroring their body language and matching their language patterns without being obvious. Use the same speech predicates as the person you are building rapport with, by noting the representational system that they are consciously using: Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic. Remember always using the other person's system! Speak in this system, and offer back the other person's own exact descriptive words or the very words as closely as possible instead of interpreting, to send the same picture they have in their head back to them with their own identical words. This gives them the impression that you are in complete empathy with them. Speaking in the wrong system would be more counterproductive, while using visual and auditory words if you know the other person are accessing kinaesthetically.

Hypnotic rapport:

Unconscious rapport between a hypnotist and subject, whereby the subject only tend to pay attention to (or respond to) only the hypnotist, and will typically pay no attention to anyone else.

Tip: Use the exact same words as someone else to intensify rapport, does not mean to copy the person, but reflect back, on occasion, the exact words of someone else.

Eg. Say "I once heard..." to the other person.

Rapport is not only a general skill which is well worth practising in therapeutic situations, but also a fundamental tool for life itself. By applying rapport skills, you will rapidly build a connection with anyone. You will become far more influential, building conversational bridges into long-term relationships.

Objective Facts About Working With Psychology

After getting into serious stuff like spiritual healing, hypnosis and NLP, I have been discovering the signs of spiritual awakening, which always make myself a better person than I used to be and reach a higher spiritual level.

Usually there is nothing I can't handle, even if the conflicts with my family members, who are hard nuts to crack. Every time I'm able to solve problems with my hypnosis and psychological skills. However, I fed up with dealing with such toxic family relations all the time. Therefore, I have made a big decision of consulting a psychologist regarding my family traumas and how they affect my love life.

I'm not sick! Consulting a psychologist doesn't mean someone is sick, it's just for whoever wants a better life. There is nothing to feel ashamed about to consult a psychologist. People who lack understanding just take it wrong.

I'm not going to say I have no problems. Every person has their own problems as an individual and nobody is perfect. Thus there is really "nobody" who doesn't need consultations. Most of psychologists themselves have been to psychologists. As a witch, or whatever I can be called in spiritual healing industry, I also have my own healer, who is my senior. 

One of my friends, who is a female clinical psychologist, still keeps going for consultation with her psychologist and healer, even if as a professional. I heard an interesting story about her healer: This woman also used to have toxic family relations just like mine, her mother always humiliated her whenever she saw her. However after years of her psychological experience, now she has amazing family relations with her parents.

I'm aware that I can't change my parents. Every person has grown up at different times and in different manners, they also gain different experiences while growing up. As a mature adult, I could focus on making changes in myself, as I'm more flexible and adaptable as a new generation. 

Of course I'm able to help some people, well there is really nothing like "the most professional" in these industries. Due to the wide ranges of knowledge, they require constant learning with no limits in order to work with clients better. As I have barriers in family and relationship matters myself, I need supervision from a senior to deal with such matters, so that I can avoid taking my clients to the wrong track due to my own subjective problems.

The main reason that I would like a consultation is to solve my problems from the root with objective and fair diagnosis by a psychologist I didn't know before, what I usually do only helps solve them temporarily. It drives me crazy if this happens all the time. I only deal with clients with stable and peaceful mood to help them gain the best results, and I will only send them the most positive energy from me!

Applying Benjamin Franklin Effect

In my earlier post about Benjamin Franklin effect, I mentioned the details of the "do me a favour" technique, which means that if you want a person to like you, ask him for a favour which can give him the feeling of being important. Now let's go deeper into this in a reverse manner.

One of my friends ended up being betrayed by his best friend and still doesn't understand the reason, as he helped this friend a lot. I asked him one question: "Did you ever ask him for any little favour during that period of time?" The answer was not at all, as he never expected anything from his friend. Let me explain the reason behind.

We all feel superior when we help people, which satisfies our desire for the feeling of importance, and leads that we always like people we help more than the ones who help us. Thus people we help could feel psychologically unbalanced. When we help people, remember to give them chances to return our favours in order to maintain their psychological balance, by asking them small favours which are very easy for them to do. This also an effective way to build connections with people even if without us helping them. In this way, people we "trouble" feel that they are the ones who are related to us, which will lead further connections to go deeper.

Whenever we need help, seek help from the people who have helps us instead of those whom we have helped, because people who have helped us are more likely to give their helping hands again, and people we have helped could lose their psychological balance so that friends could become enemies. 

As Benjamin Franklin said: "He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged."

Benjamin Franklin Effect

The Benjamin Franklin effect is a proposed psychological phenomenon, with an explanation of cognitive dissonance: a person who has already performed a favour for another is more likely to do another favor for the other than if they had receive a favour from that person. People reason that they help others because they like them, even if they do not, because their minds struggle to maintain logical consistency between their actions and perceptions. In other words, it is the result of one's concept of self coming under attack. Every person develops a persona, and that persona persists because inconsistencies in one's personal narrative get rewritten, redacted, and misinterpreted.

Benjamin Franklin, after whom the effect is named, explains how he dealt with the animosity of a rival legislator when he served in the Pennsylvania legislature in the 18th century. This was also mentioned in the book How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (Part 5: Letters That Produced Miraculous Results). In this chapter, Carnegie analyses this example and describes how to appeal to someone with the term "do me a favor" as opposed to directly asking for something which does not offer the same feeling of importance to the recipient of the request.

Franklin asked a favour that pleased the other man - a favour that touched his vanity, a favour that gave him recognition, a favour that subtly expressed Franklin's admiration for his knowledge and achievements. This technique was used to turn a caustic enemy into a lifelong friend. This psychology of asking the other man to do you a favour, goes marching right on.

Please search for the specific part of the book for more detailed information.

Defense Mechanism - More About Projection

I listed positive examples in my earlier post about projection, now let's look into negative projections. 

Once I booked a taxi, the driver kept complaining with abusive languages all the way during the trip, like: "Idiot!" "People don't know how to drive." "People don't know how to cross the road." "Look at him, he's angry." Instantly I got to know that he must be an angry person himself, and I didn't feel good with this person from the beginning.

As explained in my last post, people project the way they are onto others. Just like this person did, it was a typical example of "an angry person accusing other people of being angry", which was a reflection of his own negative personality trait.

I'm not what you think, you are what you think I am.

Spread Good Vibes

Good vibes are contagious.

After I joined the "free food for people in need" plan with specific restaurants during the corona crisis, I kept receiving replies of people sending love and blessings to me and the restaurants, also noticed that there were more people doing similar.

Because of the plan and the support from those restaurant owners, people got to know that they were doing good things and started supporting their businesses by placing orders. I didn't have anyone asking me for food, however one of the restaurants started receiving more orders and the business is going better than the previous weeks.

It does not matter who started first or who copied from whom. The most important is that if one person starts doing good things, more people will do. If everyone spreads a little love, our world will be full of good vibes.

The Tower Card

While I was doing a big reading for a client, the image of the tower card just couldn't go away from my mind. I felt that there would be some upcoming challenges for him regarding his business, and here it came. 

Global economy started cracking due to the coronavirus crisis, thus causing significant loss for small businesses, especially during the lockdown period. I was reading for him not long ago and then things changed so quick in a sudden.

Despite of the temporary difficulties, I feel that if he can struggle to survive this period of time, he will be able to deal with things more smoothly once all this passes, which will lead to an amazing transformation of himself.

Wish all my business friends stay calm and adjust your moods during hard times. I'm always doing my best to support those small businesses I appreciate. Sending you a lot of blessings and I will keep on supporting you behind.

Dealing With Jealousy

Just thinking of a question that my violin maker used to ask me: "Do you get jealous?" The answer is yes. We all get jealous. It is just one of the basic human emotions, no matter positive or negative. Never getting jealous is a lie. Thus I don't need to hide my jealousy. 

The feeling of jealousy could always appear in my mind, because people only think of me when they have problems, otherwise they'd never think of me while they are enjoying. I know very well that they all enjoy a lot with each other. Well this is what I do as a witch, people come to me to solve problems. Also people who are not as intelligent and competent as I am seem to live happier, which makes me dissatisfied.

According to my experience, jealousy can be turned positive into motivation. I'd always like to challenge myself to solve new matters. I have the belief that there's nothing I can't handle. While those people are enjoying, I take this time to empower myself and become a better person than I used to be.

Humanity During Crisis

I truely realised the real humanity during the toilet paper crisis, while I was looking to buy some. 

Stupid and selfish people who over panicked always took more than they needed and even started taking from public toilets. Those who had got toilet paper wanted to sell them off at unreasonable prices to rip other people off. Someone wanted to sell me 32 rolls for at least $500. What a joke! I couldn't believe it. I didn't comply as it doesn't make any sense.

However generous people do exist. It's the true spirit of generosity that they still like to help people while they are also in need themselves. I managed to get a pack at a reasonable price with delivery. I also came across someone who would like to drop off some rolls free of cost. As I got enough back then, I was not gonna take more than I needed. I'd rather let them help those who are in need.

As a large number of people had lost their jobs already due to the corona crisis and then started suffering a difficult time, we mustn't encourage those unethical behaviours to rip people off under such critical circumstances. Just never comply to unreasonable prices no matter what we buy from people. The more we do this, the less those behaviours will be encouraged. We must stand together and fight against the unfairness!

Take In Some Positive Energy from My Workstation

Wish everyone remains healthy and safe under critical circumstances, it will all pass. No matter what happens, let us solve the matters accordingly with calm minds. Sending you a lot of positive energy along with the candle light over my wooden lotus. Bless you all:)

Keep Calm and Resist Coronavirus

Despite the rapid spread of COVID-19, I was much more worried about people's stupidity. The whole world was just going crazy due to over panicking. People lost their sense and fought over silly things in supermarkets. They always took more than they needed. Elderly people ended up staring at the empty shelves crying. The ones who had got toilet paper wanted to sell them off for unreasonable prices to rip other people off. Selfish people even started taking the rolls from public toilets.

Once I booked a taxi to go to my dance studio, the driver kept talking on the phone in his language very loud like shouting, which was disturbing my peaceful mind in the beautiful early morning. Then he was like "Sorry, it's emergency." I said it's okay. However he didn't stop: "Do you know everything in Melbourne will be shut down tonight? That's why I told my wife to buy some items. Everything will be shut down. Do you understand?"

How dare he talked to his passenger like "Do you understand?" Well I could tell that he must be one of those brainless people who heard some news and became over panicked, which lead to his exaggerated behaviours. The way he talked indicates that he's not smart anyways. I didn't believe him, so I decided to find out the truth myself.

Firstly I still went dancing as usual. After I arrived at the dance studio, there was a group class going on, with many people gathering in a room. I also had a look on the streets after my session, some restaurants are temporarily closed but definitely not EVERYTHING! I even went to one of my regular restaurants in the same evening, and they were running a function of a large number of people there. People were still partying as usual! 

So you see, the truth is that when the crisis wasn't as serious back then, everything was just as usual till the lockdown really started. Even though the restrictions were forced to be done, humanity still had to be considered.

I just wish that everyone stays calm and safe. I would highly recommend everyone to do the EFT tapping to get rid of the coronavirus anxiety. No matter what news we hear, we must use our brains and analyse rationally in order to confirm the accuracy. Other than maintaining hygiene and distance with people to resist the spread of the coronavirus, people with clear minds must stand together to fight against this madness!

Let's do whatever the best we can while facing critical circumstances, such as supporting small businesses and letting ourselves remain healthy during the corona crisis. Just order a meal for takeaway or home delivery from your favourite restaurant, and enjoy your food at home, which will provide you energy and nutrient. A bit of kindness could mean a lot to others and ourselves. Stay strong and beautiful, we will be happier after all hard times pass. What didn't put you down makes you stronger.

Broken Windows Theory

The broken window theory is a criminological theory that states that visible signs of misbehaviour and civil disorder create an environment that encourages further misbehaviour and disorder, leading to serious crimes. As a corollary to the theory, when an environment is well-tended and problems dealt with as they arise, that also affects attitudes and leads to continued good management and maintenance.

This theory was firstly introduced by social scientists James Q. Wilson and George L. Kelling, in an article titled "Broken Windows", in the March 1982 The Atlantic Monthly.

"Social psychologists and police officers tend to agree that if a window in a building is broken and is left unrepaired, all the rest of the windows will soon be broken. This is as true in nice neighborhoods as in rundown ones. Window-breaking does not necessarily occur on a large scale because some areas are inhabited by determined window-breakers whereas others are populated by window-lovers; rather, one unrepaired broken window is a signal that no one cares, and so breaking more windows costs nothing. (It has always been fun.)"

In a business context, broken window theory is applied not only to elements of the physical workplace environment, but any kind of outstanding issue that has not been promptly dealt with. Problems like poor human resource management, disconnected corporate cultures, or a lack of employee engagement can each be considered a broken window. Each problem that goes unattended in a given environment affects people's attitude toward that environment and leads to more problems.

A successful strategy to avoid broken windows effect dragging you down, is to address the problems when they are small. Repair the very first broken windows within a short time, and the tendency is that more windows are much less likely to be broken or done further damage.

Targeting minor problems helps to create an atmosphere of order and self-discipline, thereby preventing more serious problems. Once you begin to deal with the small problems, you begin to empower yourself and people around.

6-step Tapping Protocol

Simply an application based on the Faster EFT method by Robert Smith, with only ONE point - the top of the head (anxiety point) added as additional. All other points are identical to Faster EFT.

Ensure you are adequately hydrated. Dehydration can slow or stall the process. ​

Tune in to the problem. Make sure you feel it in your body, rather than think about it in your head. Name the problem out loud, such as: This stress about work! Give it a rating out of 10, with 1 being almost nothing and 10 being as bad as it can be. ​

Tap with all fingers of dominant hand, the following sequence, saying: Let it go… ​

1. Centre of the very top of the head 

2. Centre of the forehead 

3. Temple next to eye 

4. Directly under eye on cheek bone 

5. On collarbone where it meets the sternum 

6. Squeeze either wrist ​

Take a deep breath, let hands drop and say “Peace”. ​

Tune in to the feeling of the problem again and give it a new number. Continue until it reaches zero! Don’t stop too soon, just because you’re feeling better. ​

If the progress is very slow, drink a glass of water, wait 10 minutes and do it again in another room or location.

Please check out the video below to see the demonstration:

https://youtu.be/H298m2T8ObI

The Concept of EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques

Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) is a form of counseling intervention that draws on various theories of alternative medicine including acupuncture, neuro-linguistic programming, energy medicine, and Thought Field Therapy (TFT). The technique may be used to treat a wide variety of physical and psychological disorders, and as a simple form of self-administered therapy.

The Hedgehog's Dilemma

The hedgehog's dilemma, or sometimes the porcupine dilemma, is a metaphor about the challenges of human intimacy. It describes a situation in which a group of hedgehogs seek to move close to one another to share heat during cold weather. They must remain apart, however, as they cannot avoid hurting one another with their sharp spines. Though they all share the intention of a close reciprocal relationship, this may not occur, for reasons they cannot avoid.

This situation was used to describe what they feel is the state of the individual in relation to others in society. The hedgehog's dilemma suggests that despite goodwill, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm, and what results is cautious behavior and weak relationships. With the hedgehog's dilemma, one is recommended to use moderation in affairs with others both because of self-interest, as well as out of consideration for others. The hedgehog's dilemma is used to explain introversion and self-imposed isolation.

For more information about the origin of this concept, please search for the German philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer's Parerga und Paralipomena, Volume II, Chapter XXXI, Section 396.

Edward T. Hall and The Proxemics

Edward Twitchell Hall, Jr. (May 16, 1914 – July 20, 2009) was an American anthropologist and cross-cultural researcher. He is remembered for developing the concept of proxemics and exploring cultural and social cohesion, and describing how people behave and react in different types of culturally defined personal space. 

The distance surrounding a person forms a space. The space within intimate distance and personal distance is called personal space. The space within social distance and out of personal distance is called social space. And the space within public distance is called public space.

Personal space is the region surrounding a person which they regard as psychologically theirs. Most people value their personal space and feel discomfort, anger, or anxiety when their personal space is encroached. Permitting a person to enter personal space and entering somebody else's personal space are indicators of perception of those people's relationship. An intimate zone is reserved for close friends, lovers, children and close family members. Another zone is used for conversations with friends, to chat with associates, and in group discussions. A further zone is reserved for strangers, newly formed groups, and new acquaintances. A fourth zone is used for speeches, lectures, and theater; essentially, public distance is that range reserved for larger audiences.

Pictured anthropologist Edward T. Hall, who coined the term proxemics in 1963.

Social Psychology - Interpersonal Distance/Proxemics

Proxemics is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behaviour, communication, and social interaction. It contains the branch of knowledge that deals with the amount of space that people feel it necessary to set between themselves and others.

Edward T. Hall, the cultural anthropologist who coined the term in 1963, defined proxemics as "the interrelated observations and theories of humans use of space as a specialized elaboration of culture". In his foundational work on proxemics, The Hidden Dimension, he emphasized the impact of proxemic behavior (the use of space) on interpersonal communication.

The interpersonal distances of man (the relative distances between people) were described in four distinct zones:

Public distance used for public speaking

Close phase – 12 to 25 feet (3.7 to 7.6 m)

Far phase – 25 feet (7.6 m) or more

Social distance for interactions among acquaintances

Close phase – 4 to 7 feet (1.2 to 2.1 m)

Far phase – 7 to 12 feet (2.1 to 3.7 m)

Personal distance for interactions among good friends or family

Close phase – 1.5 to 2.5 feet (46 to 76 cm)

Far phase – 2.5 to 4 feet (76 to 122 cm)

Intimate distance for embracing, touching or whispering

Close phase – less than one inch (one to two cm)

Far phase – 6 to 18 inches (15 to 46 cm)

Personal space can be highly variable, due to cultural differences and personal preferences. Different culture types maintain different standards of personal space. Realising and recognising these cultural differences improves cross-cultural understanding, and helps eliminate discomfort people may feel if the interpersonal distance is too large ("stand-offish") or too small (intrusive).

The Concept of Social Psychology

Social psychology is the scientific study of how people's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are influenced by the actual, imagined or implied presence of others. It is about understanding individual behaviour in a social context. The terms thoughts, feelings and behaviours refer to psychological variables that can be measured in humans.

Defense Mechanism - Compensation

In psychology, compensation is a strategy whereby one covers up, consciously or unconsciously, weaknesses, frustrations, desires, or feelings of inadequacy or incompetence in one life area through the gratification or (drive towards) excellence in another area. It is a way people hide something that they cannot do well, or something they lack, by doing something else really well, or considering something they have. They may not even be aware that they are doing it. It is the counterbalancing of perceived flaws or weaknesses by instead emphasising strength. In simple language, compensation is to seek what you lack.

Examples of myself and what I have detected from people:

- A person with a strict upbringing being crazy for maintaining a "bad boy/girl" image. This type of people have grown up a number of family rules and restrictions, and now they are looking for things they used to want but unable to do or have.

- Over focusing on particular things (strength) but ignoring all others (weakness). Eg. A male who loves his body, over trains his arms but ignores his legs, which leads the unbalancing of the (trained or over trained) arms being much too bigger than the (untrained or less trained) legs. As he probably achieved great results of his previous training on arms, which made him feel the strength.

- I was once crazy for pretending to be a little girl while I was already an adult. The reason is that I have always been made to be a true lady since childhood. Then I started seeking the enjoyment of being a kid, which I missed out while learning to be a lady.

Compensation can cover up either real or imagined deficiencies and personal or physical inferiority. However it does not really solve the cause of the problem. Positive compensations may help one to overcome one's difficulties. On the other hand, negative compensations do not, which results in a reinforced feeling of inferiority, and can even make a problem worse.

Alfred Adler, founder of individual psychology, introduced the term compensation in relation to inferiority feelings. For more information, please search for his book Study of Organ Inferiority and Its Physical Compensation (1907).

My Special Healing Combo

Energy reading details and healing kit ready for my beautiful client: You are an incredible and extraordinary person! It's my pleasure to read for you.